How the chuffing hell did I get here ride

This morning was meant to be a straightforward ride to work of 15 ish miles and just under the hour.

It was very misty when I set off and my tyres felt like they had glue on them so it felt really hard going.

I was trundling alone, heading east, knowing I was nearing the point I had to turn right to head over Mannington Heath and head towards work, except, it didn’t go to plan.  I did turn right – thumb up bum, brain in neutral – and started heading through a very unfamiliar village.  At this point my body compass was kind of telling me I was heading in the wrong direction but also kind of telling me I wasn’t.  This is the complete opposite of your average kebab compass that never seems to fail.  I plodded on hoping to hit something I vaguely recognised when I reached a crossroads.  At this point I had to consult the good old phone mapping which told me I was actually heading north.  This completely threw me as in my mind I had turned right off the easterly road and had not crossed it again so how the heck had I ended up heading north.  My half awake and misted up head couldn’t fathom it out.  I eventually made my way to a point I knew, lit the afterburners and sprinted for work so as not to be late.  I made it with 25 mins to spare, just enough time to grab a shower, put some monkey spunk and brick dust in my hair and grab a massive mug of tea.

Google maps soon revealed I had missed my turning for the heath and shortly afterwards the road began to turn left, something I didn’t realise in the heavy mist without reference points to rely on.  In the good old days you just trusted your compass but on the bike and without a kebab, I went wrong.

If in doubt carry out the lost procedure; head south until you hit a metalled road then blow your whistle.

I eventually ended up doing a 21.6mile ride in 1:21:46 and had to miss breakfast.  Gutted!